~Questioning Sound~
I don’t know when this happened, or if it really did even happen. But what I do know is that it had an affect on me I will never forget.
I remember I must’ve been only about six years old; I was sitting on a white couch in our apartment in Nigeria, Africa. We had a maid ,(whether we wanted her or not), who was doing the dishes as I watched TV. The room was completely white: the walls, chairs, carpet, tile; everything. In front of me was a large, oval glass table, and above it was a large crystal chandelier. It was really very beautiful, the way it caught the light, and shimmered and seemed to make everything radiant. I stared at it; I did that a lot in those days. But, as I watched it, catching the sunlight, everything suddenly slowed down. Then it began to fall. It felt like it took hours for that chandelier to hit the glass table right below it. They collided together, and as they broke into millions of shards of sparkling glass, they made the most… the most beautiful, horrible, malignant, wretched, saddening, tragic, and pure, sound in my mind.
The sound made my heart break. Break like the glass, spreading all over in threatening, spidery spires. I don’t know if I screamed. But the maid nearby, seemed to both stare, frozen at the sight in front of her and disappear, and run to pick me up. Both of these occurrences always fill my mind when I think of her. -And my mother, no where to be seen. -My father, at work. But even as I think back on it, that sound. That malignant sound; it was like watching something both terrible and beautiful fall from grace and die there in front of you like a savage and ungodly and helpless animal, in the most terrible way…
It made me want to cry. Just sit, and sob for forever.
And I don’t know why. Perhaps it was that sound; forever imprinted in my mind.
I know it’s not something to really be so offended by; but that fact changes nothing. The effect is still the same.
Now, if I break a glass, break a mirror, break anything made of glass, I feel horrible inside. And that sound. That horrible sound fills my mind and heart with a great and terrible sorrow.
And I don’t know why.
But I still want to sit down and sob about it.
I don’t know when this happened, or if it really did even happen. But what I do know is that it has an affect on me I will never forget.